You tell me today that you are ready to go home.
And I know what you mean by that.
I know that you are talking about dying.
You said that you are tired.
You are tired of being confused, sad, mad, upset.
You tell me that you wish that you could talk to your mama.
That she would explain this disease to you.
That you just wanted answers to what is going on with you.
I try to explain to you....being honest about this disease...
And then you are off to another subject....
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Hope
Hope is something that I hold onto for dear life even when the tears feel like fire rolling down my face.
One day you are having a good day, you are up and doing what has to be done, not thinking about this is disease and then, "bam" something hits you from behind without warning or provocation.
You don't know what else to do but cry.
I still hold on to Hope.
Someone has taken the wind out of my sails and has left me out in an open sea, to drift aimlessly to nowhere.
I hold onto Hope.
I refuse to give up.
Why? I ask?
Why hold onto to Hope? Why?
Then the voice of reasoning answers---telling me, Hope is all you have.
One day you are having a good day, you are up and doing what has to be done, not thinking about this is disease and then, "bam" something hits you from behind without warning or provocation.
You don't know what else to do but cry.
I still hold on to Hope.
Someone has taken the wind out of my sails and has left me out in an open sea, to drift aimlessly to nowhere.
I hold onto Hope.
I refuse to give up.
Why? I ask?
Why hold onto to Hope? Why?
Then the voice of reasoning answers---telling me, Hope is all you have.
Like a Thief in the Night
You come and took her memory awayHer thoughts...Life a Thief in the Night.
You didn't care that has a husband, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to share her brilliant mind with, you just took it.
Like a Thief in the night.
Now she sits and tries to have a conversation --getting lost in the middle of it and then just gives up.
She sits and stares blankly as if she is lost in a maze, not knowing her next turn.
Frozen in time.
Just sitting there with a blank look on her face with nothing to say.
You have given her that ability..but then I don't want to give you credit for nothing...
You are a Thief in the Night
You have taken her ability to know who her family and friends are.
You have made her suspicious of everyone that comes into her home.
You have taken so much.
You have taken her ability to argue with me.
You took that like a Thief in the Night.
I want to be mad.
I want to scream.
And then I realize I really don't want to be mad or scream...I just want a cure to be found.
So that you, this dreaded, awful disease can no longer be a Thief in the Night.
You didn't care that has a husband, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to share her brilliant mind with, you just took it.
Like a Thief in the night.
Now she sits and tries to have a conversation --getting lost in the middle of it and then just gives up.
She sits and stares blankly as if she is lost in a maze, not knowing her next turn.
Frozen in time.
Just sitting there with a blank look on her face with nothing to say.
You have given her that ability..but then I don't want to give you credit for nothing...
You are a Thief in the Night
You have taken her ability to know who her family and friends are.
You have made her suspicious of everyone that comes into her home.
You have taken so much.
You have taken her ability to argue with me.
You took that like a Thief in the Night.
I want to be mad.
I want to scream.
And then I realize I really don't want to be mad or scream...I just want a cure to be found.
So that you, this dreaded, awful disease can no longer be a Thief in the Night.
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