Thoughts

There is so much going on in my family at this time and it is just heartbreaking. I have noticed that when things are going good at work then something in the universe makes you home life difficult and when things at great home then work really sucks. Does that make sense at all?
Daddy is not doing good at all. He has good days and bad days and the bad days seem to come more often than not. I found out Friday that he has prostate cancer and the doctor is going to make an appointment for his to see a surgeon in Jacksonville Fla with the issue with his stomach. And then we will address the issue of cancer. So my mind is just cluttered and I'm trying to come to terms with this news.
And as if that was not enough bad news, my niece has cancer (started in her ovaries and has spread and wrapped around her rib cage). So, she is has started chemo and is staying sick. She is trying to work 3 days a week but I'm not sure how long she will be able to continue working. She is a brave soul. She has been doing to seed chemo.
I seen Momma yesterday and it was sad. She was talking really soft, like a child. Talking in broken sentences and forgetting where the conversion was going. She talked about her new car..yes Daddy went a bought a new car and told her that it is hers. She can't drive but she loves to ride. That is something that is new. She usually does not like to leave the house but she loves to just get out and ride and look. She wanted to know if I wanted to take her from a ride in her car. I told her we would go and then she said that it was too hot outside to go anywhere. It was 108 with the heat index yesterday. So it is really really hot here. Then 10 minutes later, she started talking about Daddy having cancer and we talked about Daddy going to Macon Ga to to see a doctor there that his brother seen when he had prostate cancer.
I left there feeling tired, sad and depressed. I really don't know what to do or think at this moment. Confused ... that is the right word I think.
All the grand babies are doing well. We are hoping to see them all over the 4th of July. We will be traveling to Atlanta to see David's family and then we will be going to see the grand babies too. David is trying to get the porch finished. It was originally built to be a deck and then he wanted to top it off and screen it in so now it is porch. I'm not sure what type of outdoor furniture we are going to put out there on it but I will be so GLAD when it DONE. We have been working on this project for 6 weeks. I guess that is not too bad when we are just working on it on Saturdays.
Work is work. I'm really enjoying being in the work force but I know that there I'm going to take some time off in the near future to deal with all the things that is going with Daddy and I will do it. I know that my job is secure and that gives me some peace of mind. I will go back to work after Daddy has his surgery and then I will take days off when he has to go and take his chemo.
I have to keep a positive attitude about this like I do with Momma and ALZ. I know that there is no cure but I know that in her heart she knows her kids and her grand kids and that her mind is just a bunch of stumbling blocks. To me, the only thing that matters is what is in her heart. I have always said.."her mind might not remember me but her heart will never forget me." And then the tears start flowing...
Have a great week my blogger friends..try to cool if it is hot where you are...and remember.. peace, love and happiness!