bittersweet moment

Yesterday was Fathers' Day. Daddy was in the yard, watching as the vehicles were being washed and waxed. And you, my dear Mama, was in the house watching out of the glass doors and laughing. You were laughing because N, your great grandson was running through the water that was on the ground. He would run through the water and laugh. Then you would laugh. Alzheimers' is an awful and strange disease. I have noticed in the last few days that you seem to regressing more and more. Your mind is going backwards. You think that you great grandchild are your grandchildren. You think that N, is your grandson B. I try to explain to you that N is your great grandson and then you look at me as if you are in a fog, a daze. So I decide that we will try to have this conversation at a later day. You tell everyone that you are ready to eat. The food is coming off of the grill and you tell me that you want a hamburger but you really want a hot dog. You are shaking so bad from the Parkinsons' that you can barely hold your hot dog so I cut it up for you so that you can use a fork to eat it with. You look at N. as he is eating his potato salad and he moans at you. And you moan back. There is 69 years between the two of you. He laughs at you and you laugh at him. This goes on the entire time tha twe are eating dinner. When you two finish eating, N. gets down and got to you and grabs you by the leg and loves you. It is a bittersweet moment to see this between grandmother and great grandson. And I realize that I am blessed to have shared such a moment with you and him.