i wish

I wish that I could come on here and say what is in my heart, what is going on with me. But is it really necessary? NO. Everyone has problems so what makes mine so different or important? I guess that the only thing that I can honestly say is it feels like my heart is broken into a million pieces. And there are alot of reasons why. More than I want discuss or disclose. But it doesn't really matter...I guess this too will pass.

just thinking

I'm sitting here with Lulu next to me...she is just lying here next to me looking at the bedroom door. No reason for this blog..just to say hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

I'm sorry ...
for everything that I have been wrong...said wrong...
For not being there when you needed me.....
For not sharing my shoulder for you to cry on....
To lend an ear when you needed to scream....
To just be a friend when you needed a friend...
I'm sorry...I do love you no matter what

I got to talk to Nonna

I wanted to write a qiuck note and let everyone know that I had the honor and priviliage to talk with Stef's Nonna Sunday. Nonna has this beautiful voice with this wonderful Italian accent. When she said hey, my heart jumped for joy. She spoke Italian to me (I don't know it, but I loved hearing her talk). Stef, you have a wonderful and loving Nonna. Now my heart understands why you love her as you do. Thank you so much for allowing me this wonderful, precious moment that I will hold dear and near to my heart for the rest of my life.

wondering

I sit and wonder sometimes...how do you bear your soul? Or should you bear your soul? Does it take a lifetime to get over your childhood? All of your adulthood to get over the teenaged years? I envy a caterpillar...it didn't matter what had happened before to them...they always fly away..beautiful and untouched...

Mama in hospital

Mama was put in the hospital yesterday due to fluid around the heart and lungs. When we got to the doctors' office, she was told that she had to go in the hospital. She had told me that she was not going to go back in the hospital because she was afraid of the doctor placing her back in the nursing home. I told her that is not the case this time. She said that she did not want to go back in the nursing home ever ever again. And then she got teary eyed. I assured her that I would let her doctor know her concerns about the nursing home. Today she seemed okay. Last night was rough for her. Somehow she removed the IV from her hand and said that she bleed all over the sheets and her gown. She said that she did not sleep well at all. I called the hospital and told them to call me if she was having a restless night tonight. Hopefully she will have a restful night. Hopefully she will home in the next few days. I will keep everyone posted.
Gale

September 11th

I wanted to post on September 11th but I could not bring myself to do it. This day will be forever etched in my memory. My grandmother's birthday is September 11th. This day we did not celebrate...this was the first birthday that she was not here with us. She passed away in May. I nephew called me and told me to turn on the tv that there was planes flying into the World Trade Centers. I had the tv on but it was on mute. I had no idea what was going on. The only thing that I was worried about was getting my son from school (no I don't live in New York) but I wanted him home. I was worried about my father who was suppose to be on the road going to Fla. But this morning, he was home. And that I was so thankful for. I went to my Mama and Daddy's house stayed there just about all day. For the next few days, I stayed up day and night. I had a friend that was in New York. We got a call late the next day and was told that she was okay and was on the way back to Ga. So many people lost their lives that day and for what? Because someone believes that it was appointed to them to do this evil act. Do I want retalition against who done this..if and when we can get the mastermind behind the crime. But not at the expense of the lives of our men and women in the Armed services. I am thankful for the men and women of our Armed Services for protecting our freedoms.

just thoughts

I guess that I just need to muse some...have you ever felt like you are all alone on this world? Even tho you have family and friends, you are still alone? That is how I feel. My best friend does not even know what time of the day it is, not to mention that she does not even know what day it is. I feel the only person that loves me is my dog Droopy. It is sad I know. Droopy loves me uncontidionally. I can spank him for running over a puppy because he thinks that he is just playing but he ends up rolling the puppy, making her whin. But Droopy still loves me just the same. He sleeps at my feet at night..he lays next to me on the couch when I'm on the laptop. He lays in the entry way of the kitchen when I'm cooking. And it is sad to say...he lays in the bathroom on the rug at the shower when I' in the shower. Do I ever get a minute alone? Not often with Droppy and the other 7 puppies around. Does it get on my nerves? Sometimes and then I realize that I'm all that Droopy has. He is my nerd. He is my big love. And he is jealous of all the babies. I can sit in the floor and call the puppies and tell they to come and love mama and he run up and put his paws on my shoulders making sure that the puppies do not love on me. I know that some people would think this is silly but to pet owners there is nothing like the love of a pet. When you have a bad day, they are there to make it cheerful. Like a rainbow after a summers rain.

the puppies are leaving

The puppies are leaving one by one...slowly. Zero left last Sunday the 2nd. She has a wonderful new home with Londa and Wesley and is currently traveling the US. And is loving it...Londa reports. I have two that is leaving tomorrow. I had one mother to report that she had to go to Wal-Mart when her son was told he was getting a puppy because he could not go to sleep until he got his puppy food, bowls, puppy pads and toys. The other is going to a little girl and boy and they are excited as well. I will 5 that will be here but 2 of them are leaving next week. I am keeping one and then I will have 2 that I will have to find homes for. But I'm not going to complain..I have grown to love these little furbabies. Am I sad...sorta....but I know that these little babies are going to great homes and the plus is that they are close to me and I can see them whenever I want to...YAY! I get to see Zero in 2 weeks...I am going to Londa and Wesley's to a welcome home party for her son. I hope that everyone has a great weekend....