Sunday, October 28, 2007

painting and the Jolly Green Giant

Yea, I painted Saturday..all day. I have muscles that are hurting that I didn't even know that I had. My calf muscles feel like they weigh 10,000 pounds. My arms are hurting so bad that I can hardly stand it. Thank God that I use only my fingers on this keyboard. We are remodeling Mama and Daddy's house in town. They are letting me pick everything out. This will be mine home when they are gone. So, they both want me to have it the way that I want it...so we have been working hard at this. My nephews have come from out of town to help and we had a blast yesterday. My oldest sisters', oldest and middle son told me that I looked like I got in a fight with the Jolly Green Giant and that I won....yea I had hunter green paint on me..okay all over me....some from paint dropping on me to yea, M. playing with the paint brush. He decided that I needed to have some more paint on me....All and all, we had a great time...being around each other and just having fun. Mama come in the yard and was acting "supervisor" and R. was "project forum" as he put it...And Mama just laughed at all us. Yesterday was just as good for her as it was for us....paint and all....

Thursday, October 25, 2007

new blog look

The new blog look is courtesy of Stef. And I love it. Thanks Stef for doing this for me....folks i'm not computer savey so without Stef this blog would be sad...lol...Once again, thanks..
Gale

Monday, October 22, 2007

just to vent ...i guess

Okay I knew that there were some folks in this world that acts just stupid. Really ignorant..I was reminded of this today when someone decided that he would try to talk to me like I was stupid. That didn't go over at all with me...so I decided that I would hand it back to him and I did. I have come to the conclusion that we really don't know people ...we only know what people allow us to know. I have the policy to be honest with people when they ask something about me. I have no reasons to lie to other people about me. And this person took it upon himself to post things about me that are not true...like i take certain medications for certain things. I don't take any medications that are not prescribed to me by my physician. But anyhoo, this person thinks that he can make slanderous comments about me...and I guess that he can but I hope that he realizes that he is playing in a different ballgame now. But I don't think that he does...like I said some people are just stupid.....

Friday, October 19, 2007

There are several things that I wish that I could do:
Sail a sailboat
Crochet
change the oil in my vehicle
change the spark plugs...lol
know how to get to the rivers that I fished as a child with my parents
be silly with the great neices and nephews
be even sillier with the grand-babies
take some things with a grain a salt....especially what people say...
see a movie more often
love more, laugh often....

Still no apology

Okay he come in today and told me that he would never do anything to hurt to me but he still has not apologized for his actions Monday. He did on the other hand ask me if I would take his Mustang to town and fill it up with gas because I was going to the grocery store. I decided that "okay I would do something that might would make him think about how he treats...did he apologize or say thank you for taking his Mustang and filling it up...NO NO NO!!!!This is just unimaginable but I am not going to worry about it. I am going to my Mom's tomorrow and spend the day with her...I have been up and seen her but I have not spent what I call "quality time" with her. So that is what I plan on doing tomorrow. I hope that everyone had a great weekend.....and thanks guys for all your help.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Stress or need of chocolate

It is Thursday and I still have a headache....is it stress...or maybe I just need chocolate..who knows but this week has been too long. No we are still not talking but I did cook dinner and we sit at the dinner table together..No conversation... no nothing. I did ask him to tell the clerk (at his job) not to call me anymore. I am sick of her calling me and just gossiping. I have better things to do than talk about other people and their problems especially hers. I don't even answer the phone when she calls. Does she get the message that I don't want to talk to her...NO!!!!!!!! And that was the extent of our converstion. I still have nothing to say to him. I believe that I have the right to be upset still. Not mad, not angry, but upset. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel that I have the right to be upset with him until he apologizes to me what he said to me. I think that he needs to realize that he is the one that is suppose to take care of things in his home not my Daddy and not me. I have the responsibility of everything that goes in the home anyway. This man does not even mow his own lawn. And folks we have a huge lawn...4 + acres. I mow the lawn, weed eat, do it all. But he could not even come home and take care of battery in my vehicle. Maybe one hour of his time and he could not give me that.....sad huh? Oh well, live goes on.

Monday, October 15, 2007

okay...what is going on?

Today has been awful. My truck decided that I didn't need the battery anymore so it died. And that took me all morning to take care of. The person that I thought would help me told me that he was busy at work and that I could take care of it myself. Okay, the battery is dead..the truck will not crank...and that means that I can not go anywhere. So I walk 3 1/2 miles to get my my Mustang that he drives. An hour and 15 minutes walk. And when I start to leave when the car is parked the puppy wants to come home with me..then the tears start flowing. And I have cried all day. So Daddy comes to what I thought was my home with a battery for my truck and he gets it fixed. And I thought,"okay that is over with... the day will get better". Stupid me...the dear hubby gets home and tells me in not so many words that I'm a burden. A burden? Okay, now I'm thinking for 9 years I have been a burden? And you decide to tell me today...so when I tell him that I will move out tomrrow he goes to crying telling me that he don't want to leave. I had to break it off and tell him that I didn't have time for this drama I have enough going on in my life without this. I want to scream...LOUD!!!!! Then I realize that will only make my head hurt worse than it is hurting now.....does it ever stop....what is going on?

okay...what is going on?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

5 years ago today

5 years ago today my middle brother Ricky committed suicide. Tragic ...yes. drepressing...yes..
Do I miss him...yes. Sometimes it is just so hard to breathe. I think of him often especially this time of year. We both love the fall. We loved going to Daytona Beach, Fla. for Biketoberfest. I have not been in 5 years. My nephew wants me to go with him this year and I just can't go. I was on vacation with my parents the weekend before Ricky took his life. We were in the moutains in North Carolina and Tennessee. It was so hard for me to go back to North Carolina after that happened. I took my son, nephew and one of their freinds skiing and it was extremely hard to go back but I had no choice..I had to go. I felt that it would be a form of therpy for me to go. I felt that I needed to go and cry where we played when we went up there as kids. Yes, every year for summer vacation that was where we were. So when I got to North Carolina I went to the river and sit and cried. It was freezing outside but I had to cry and talk to Ricky. I felt that he was sitting on the bank of the river with me, laughing and crying, talking about the old times. Even stranger tho...I was in the computer room Friday afternoon the 12th looking at pictures and I found an envelope with Ricky's name on it and inside was an letter. I looked at the pictures and then I pulled the letter out and it was Ricky's death certificate. Imagine that shock..2 days before he would be dead for 5 years and I find that. Needless to say, the past few days I have thougth about alot of things. Things about life...Did I cry? A river..I miss him so much. I miss him saying ..."cat". He had a way with that word. I just miss him...but I know one thing ...his love is like the wind..I can't see it but I can feel it.. So to you big brother...I miss you ..I love you...and I'm so proud to call you family.....I will hold your love in my memory until we meet again...

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Today we sat and talked about the past. I was really surprised that she remembered the things that she did. Mama was asking me if I remembered when Daddy had to go and have a sleep study out of town. I told her , yes that I remember that and that we were going to go to a motel to spend the night and then when we got to the sleep study center they had us a bed. Well, it was like a twin bed and we both slept on the bed. She laughed because she said.."I don't remember us sleeping that night, we layed there and talked." And she was right. We had so much fun. We traveled to so many places together. We had alot of fun. Like she said..."the good ole days." These are memories that I will hold dear and near to my heart...forever..thanks Mama for all the good times.....I love you....